If you have a security company tell you "go with 8MP; it makes no sense for 2MP starlight be better at night than an 8MP camera", I'd be concerned with their understanding of how the camera work.
It's the 2MP 1/2.8" image sensor in the Dahua Starlight/Hikvision Dark Fighter models that makes them work better at night. Specifically, it's physically a bigger sensor that has fewer pixels on it, which means the space each pixel gets on the image sensor is larger. Larger pixel space on the sensor allows the sensor to capture more light in every pixel. More light captured in every pixel means better low-light image quality.
The 8MP 5831/2385 models use a slightly large sensor ... 1/2.5" ... while a bigger sensor is better, this camera has 400% more pixels (8MP vs 2MP), but the sensor is only about 10% bigger. This means the space for each pixel on the image sensor is nowhere as big as on the 2MP 1/2.8" sensor, which means less light collected in every pixel, which means poorer image quality in lower-light.
Both Dahua and Hikvision have newer 8MP pixels with even bigger sensors (1/1.8", 1/2.0"). These are getting closer to the low-light image quality of the 2MP 1/2.8" cameras (Starlights, 2MP Dark Fighters), but they're still a bit off. For Dahua, these are the 1831/2831 models.
The 5231R-Z were the original Starlight models. They've mostly been discontinued and replaced by the 5231R-ZE models. The E in the newer models stands for Dahua's ePOE capability, which allows these cameras (with adapters) to run across coax cables, which can go longer than ethernet. The main diff between the 5231 and the 2231 is that the 2231 doesn't have a built-in mic. The S at the end of the 2231 stands for SD card, I think... kind of confusing since the 5231 doesn't have a S in the model number, but also supports SD cards. I don't think any of the Starlight models have a letter in the model number that means "Starlight".
With flood lights, if they're motion activated, keep in mind that when they come on, no matter which camera you have, it'll usually take a few seconds for the camera to adjust to the new light, especially if you leave the camera in "auto" mode at night, which means it may switch back to color mode when the lights come on. Image quality while the camera adjusts to the light usually drops. If you have an 8MP camera, when the flood light is off, you're probably going to get really grainy low-light image quality, and when it captures movement, the movement will often blur .. so you're not likely to get a lot of usable images/video until a few seconds after the flood light has turned on.