Funny / Satire
- Thread starter Ssayer
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jack stinkicat
n3wb
John and Mary were having dinner in a very fine restaurant.
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned. Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that dear John had disappeared under the table.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman:
- “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just hid under the table.”
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly:
- “Oh, no. He did not", and in a matter-of-fact way continued, “he just Walked In the front door!!!"
Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away, noticed that John was ever so slowly, silently sliding down his chair and under the table, while Mary acted quite unconcerned. Their waitress watched as John slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, Mary appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that dear John had disappeared under the table.
After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman:
- “Pardon me, ma’am, but I think your husband just hid under the table.”
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly:
- “Oh, no. He did not", and in a matter-of-fact way continued, “he just Walked In the front door!!!"
Wife’s Diary:
{Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. The conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, “nothing.” I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.
About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.}
Husband’s Diary, same day:
{A two-foot putt… Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?}
{Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. The conversation wasn’t flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn’t say much. I asked him what was wrong; He said, “nothing.” I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn’t upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly and kept driving. I can’t explain his behavior. I don’t know why he didn’t say, ‘I love you, too.’ When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed.
About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep; I cried. I don’t know what to do. I’m almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.}
Husband’s Diary, same day:
{A two-foot putt… Who the hell misses a two-foot putt?}
Smilingreen
Known around here
Joe Biden claimed he used to be a swinger.......found the video that backs up his claim......
View attachment 93e19ac23925580b.mp4
View attachment 93e19ac23925580b.mp4
