Or maybe a visit from that 40 year old teacher posing in that picture from previous post. She would give that bad boy a spanking and unforgettable lesson and experience
Not trick or treat
It’s treat? Or real Treat?
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Funny / Satire
- Thread starter Ssayer
- Start date
Not trick or treat
It’s treat? Or real Treat?
Crafty Women (For da Wife's):
| THE REMOTE 'Cash, cheque or charge?' I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. 'So, do you always carry your TV remote?' I asked. 'No,' she replied, 'but my husband refused to come shopping with me, And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.' |
WIFE VS. HUSBAND A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and Neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, The husband asked sarcastically, 'Relatives of yours?' 'Yep,' the wife replied, 'in-laws' |
WORDS A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day 30,000 to a man's 15,000. The wife replied, 'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men.. The husband then turned to his wife and asked, 'What?' |
CREATION A man said to his wife one day, 'I don't know how you can be So stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. 'The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you! |
WHO DOES WHAT A man and his wife were having an argument about who Should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, 'You should do it because you get up first, And then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, 'You are in charge of cooking around here and You should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.' Wife replies, 'No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.' Husband replies, 'I can't believe that, show me.' So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says 'HEBREWS' |
The Silent Treatment A man and his wife were having some problems at home And were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him At 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM. He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, When he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.' Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. |
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece |
An old Doberman starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost.
Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch
The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep s**t now!
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?
Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the lion, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion.
The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!"
Moral of this story
don’t mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Bull S**t and brilliance only comes with age and experience.
Wandering about, he notices a lion heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch
The old Doberman thinks, "Oh, oh! I'm in deep s**t now!
Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat.
Just as the lion is about to leap, the old Doberman exclaims loudly,
"Boy, that was one delicious lion! I wonder, if there are any more around here?
Hearing this, the young lion halts his attack in mid-stride, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.
"Whew!," says the lion, "That was close! That old Doberman nearly had me!
Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the lion. So, off he goes.
The squirrel soon catches up with the lion, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the lion.
The young lion is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine!
Now, the old Doberman sees the lion coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?," but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Doberman says
"Where's that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another lion!"
Moral of this story
don’t mess with the old dogs... Age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery!
Bull S**t and brilliance only comes with age and experience.
This is me today.... I go to get probed at 6am tomorrow...
