Funny / Satire
- Thread starter Ssayer
- Start date
This was obviously written before the rainbow generation came around LOL.
Last edited:
Smilingreen
Known around here
The cops are looking for a F250 with dually's........I think the burnout dude is safe.
It's a street, what did they expect...Quit painting streets...duh...
The young woman who submitted the tech support message below (about her relationship with her husband) presumably did it as a joke. Then she got a reply that was way too good to keep to herself. The tech support people's love advice was hilarious.
The query:
Dear Tech Support,
"Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0, and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed: Desperate
The response:
Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2. Do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. However, remember, overuse of the Tears application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta version.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 as it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources. In addition, please do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0.
Good Luck,
Tech Support
Sorry, I am laughing at this....its a damn street...DON'T paint shit on it and not everyone wants to see that sign.
Now THERE is a guy with some cajones!
What, are they racist for not liking the black tracks over their flag?
Pretty impressive, a dually able to do a burnout like that. That's something to be proud of
Smilingreen
Known around here
Burnouts have been happening at intersections since there was cars with enough horsepower to spin their tires. This is absolutely nothing new. It has been happening for many decades. Is it the people driving fault that a small minority of people were not smart enough to not paint the intersection where people have been doing burnouts for decades? If they want to paint something, paint their bedroom walls in rainbow colors. That way they can enjoy it 24/7 and not subject everyone else to have to accept it or look at it. This is just them trying to cram their live styles down our throats. I don't paint pussy all over publicly owned intersections. Why are they special and get to paint assholes all over publicly owned intersections?
Yep, we used to have to remove grafitti from posters, markers and spray paint on street light poles, traffic signal poles and traffic signal cabinets. When caught they were fined as it's public (local gov't. maintained) property, just like the roadways and sidewalks.
