A Flatulent Christmas by grandpa
Twas the day after Christmas and all through the house, the smell of Montreal steak spice, from the gas I'd espoused.
The prime rib, upon grill set afire, and guest’s lusting, with hungered desire. With the patience and wisdom of an old man's years, I slow cooked the slaughter, and timed it with beers.
When time came to retrieve the crusted delight, the diner’s all cheered, with all of their might! They ate and ate til the bounty was gone and henceforth retired, to music and song.
Their slow departure, was brazenly long, and with holiday’s cheer I bid them along, its been great I declared, and showed them the door, and thanked God’s sweet mercy I never once swore!
It was then I pondered the holiday wishes , given by those who’d left all these dishes. Ungrateful scoundrels; one and all, consumed all my food and alcohol!
I headed to bed with the greatest of vigor, would have drifted away, but a startling trigger. A grumble within did wake me with start, as I let out a monstrous really loud fart.
I pondered the wisdom of staying with in, chancing the damage soon to begin. The dog began gagging and ran from the house, the cat hissed loudly, and puked up a mouse!
I abandoned sleep, departure a must, recalling angered protest, my ex’s disgust. I turned to the kitchen and opened a door , drew a beep breath and pondered once more.
Had this happen early, perhaps mid-cheer, my guest may have left me a couple of beer!
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