Funny / Satire
- Thread starter Ssayer
- Start date
I knew this was going to happen to one of my posts sooner or later...
52 weeks plus of lockdowns. What do you expect?
Facebook Blocks Story That Says We Weren't Always At War With Eastasia
MENLO PARK, CA—In recent remarks, President Joe Biden stated that we had always been at war with Eastasia. This had gone unmentioned by most of the press, but the New York Post wrote a story contradicting Biden’s remarks, giving evidence that until recently we had been allies of Eastasia...
babylonbee.com
Media Commits To Creating 25% More Racism In 2021
U.S.—After a successful 2020, media organizations have announced a cooperative effort to create at least 25% more racism in the year 2021.
babylonbee.com
FBI To Interview BLM Rioters To See If They Have Any Tips On Where Capitol Hill Protesters Are
Satire For The Right. And The Wrong.
thegloriousamerican.com
Ron Paul Disguises Federal Reserve As Nike Store In Hopes Rioters Will Burn It Down
WASHINGTON, D.C.—According to sources, former representative Ron Paul was seen disguising the Federal Reserve building as a Nike store in hopes of getting BLM and Antifa rioters to burn the place down.
babylonbee.com
In Closing Argument, Prosecutor Tearfully Addresses Each Juror By Name, Phone Number, And Street Address
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—Prosecutor Steve Schleicher delivered powerful closing arguments today in the Derek Chauvin trial. In one especially touching moment, he made sure to individually address every member of the jury by name, phone number, and street address.
babylonbee.com
Judge Asks Jurors To Disregard Maxine Waters As She Pours Gasoline On Their Heads
MINNEAPOLIS, MN—County Judge Peter Cahill has issued final instructions to the jury ahead of closing arguments in the Derek Chauvin trial. As part of his charge to the jury, he asked them to please disregard Maxine Waters as she walked among the jurors pouring gasoline on their heads.
babylonbee.com
False Alarm: Evil Nazi Facility That Murders And Sells Baby Parts Turns Out To Just Be A Planned Parenthood
“What we’re seeing here is a disgusting remnant of the Nazi regime,” said Jim Acosta live at the scene. “This facility must have been built by the fascist Trump administration and his ilk as they somehow stooped to new, horrific lows.”
babylonbee.com
Man Who Trusts Science Wears Mask While Outside, Helmet While Driving, Water Wings While Taking A Bath
WALTHAM, MA—Kenny Stone always trusts the science. That’s why, despite getting vaccinated, he’s listening to Dr. Anthony Fauci and the CDC and continuing to wear a mask, even when outside. “There’s still a risk I could get the virus out there,” said Stone. “It’s a pretty large number -- like ten...
babylonbee.com
Pretty sure this guy is a Germaphobe...they are very hard to live with, we have a couple in our family, the scared of dirt kind...also throw in their OCDing too...it must be a terrible feeling to always live in fear...I still eat off the floor, LOL...Man Who Trusts Science Wears Mask While Outside, Helmet While Driving, Water Wings While Taking A Bath
WALTHAM, MA—Kenny Stone always trusts the science. That’s why, despite getting vaccinated, he’s listening to Dr. Anthony Fauci and the CDC and continuing to wear a mask, even when outside. “There’s still a risk I could get the virus out there,” said Stone. “It’s a pretty large number -- like ten...