Funny / Satire
- Thread starter Ssayer
- Start date
Johnny Cash mural is leaking from a crude spot after Arkansas water tower gets shot
“Shouldn’t have done it, but as far as creativity goes it’s 1st class.”
How did they not understand that was going to happen? They're going to have to paint over him because it'll happen again.View attachment 128150
Johnny Cash mural is leaking from a crude spot after Arkansas water tower gets shot
“Shouldn’t have done it, but as far as creativity goes it’s 1st class.”www.yahoo.com
I'm curious how long he's been painted on there and if it's happened before?
I got this text today:
So I forwarded it to our friend who is a sheriff's deputy and told him, "I asked my wife about it and she says I'm married and can't respond, but you're single."
All kidding aside, what's the scam here? They get you to meet up and rob you?
So I forwarded it to our friend who is a sheriff's deputy and told him, "I asked my wife about it and she says I'm married and can't respond, but you're single."
All kidding aside, what's the scam here? They get you to meet up and rob you?
Holy shit!!! Sooooooo this happened last night...
The neighbors had been complaining that my dog had been barking non-stop. I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased a humane citronella collar. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently they don't like it.
This evening I was getting the collar ready and filled it with the citronella liquid. And that's where my evening should have ended. But no, it's me, and I begin to become curious as to “how” the collars actually work.
So I'm standing by my back door "barking" at my dog's collar. Nothing happens. I make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time. Again, I bark. Nothing happens. Now I'm not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did...I put the collar on. I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked. Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face.
I began coughing, which only caused the fucking collar to continue squirting bug spray over and over into my nasal cavity. I'm now on my hands and knees in my back yard, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the dog is barking. So between coughing and yelling at him to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face. During all of this ruckus, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut during this whole fiasco.
I finally get the collar off and threw, yes I threw that inhumane fucker across the yard, and lay in the grass sucking in the humid evening air. In the middle of thinking this is probably the dumbest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter. MY NEIGHBOR SAW THE WHOLE THING! He was laughing so damn hard he couldn't breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, "I was gonna come help, but every time I started to climb over the fence, you'd set it off again and then I would started laughing and couldn't make it." So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too. After checking to make sure I was ok, we parted ways and I went in to shower so I wouldn't smell like ode de' Tiki Torch.
Lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that:
Don't fill the collar before trying to set it off.
Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation.
On the plus side, I won't have a mosquito problem for a few days!
Even though this does sound like some crazy thing that I'd do, I hate to break the news that it's a copied story that gave me a good laugh so feel free to do the same.
because we all need a laugh.
The neighbors had been complaining that my dog had been barking non-stop. I hate the electric zapping bark collars so I purchased a humane citronella collar. When a dog barks, it shoots a blast of citronella under their nose and apparently they don't like it.
This evening I was getting the collar ready and filled it with the citronella liquid. And that's where my evening should have ended. But no, it's me, and I begin to become curious as to “how” the collars actually work.
So I'm standing by my back door "barking" at my dog's collar. Nothing happens. I make sure it's turned on, check the fill level, and go through the "getting started" check list one more time. Again, I bark. Nothing happens. Now I'm not quite sure, why I had this next thought, but I did...I put the collar on. I seriously extended the band and fit the growl box against my throat and barked. Apparently, the collar only works if it feels vibrations, because I immediately received a blast of citronella to the face.
I began coughing, which only caused the fucking collar to continue squirting bug spray over and over into my nasal cavity. I'm now on my hands and knees in my back yard, trying to breathe, and to make matters worse, the dog is barking. So between coughing and yelling at him to shut up, I've emptied over a dozen blasts of citronella to my face. During all of this ruckus, I'm trying to undo the clasp of the collar, which has somehow managed to weld shut during this whole fiasco.
I finally get the collar off and threw, yes I threw that inhumane fucker across the yard, and lay in the grass sucking in the humid evening air. In the middle of thinking this is probably the dumbest thing I've done in a while, I hear laughter. MY NEIGHBOR SAW THE WHOLE THING! He was laughing so damn hard he couldn't breathe. Between gasps, he tells me, "I was gonna come help, but every time I started to climb over the fence, you'd set it off again and then I would started laughing and couldn't make it." So now, not only are my eyes red, but my face and ears are too. After checking to make sure I was ok, we parted ways and I went in to shower so I wouldn't smell like ode de' Tiki Torch.
Lesson learned: next time (yes, there will always be a next time with me) make sure that:
Don't fill the collar before trying to set it off.
Remember your neighbor is not a good source of help in a comedy crisis situation.
On the plus side, I won't have a mosquito problem for a few days!
Even though this does sound like some crazy thing that I'd do, I hate to break the news that it's a copied story that gave me a good laugh so feel free to do the same.
Sounds like something I'd do.
Unfortunately, the one positive takeaway was incorrect. Citronella does nothing to deter mosquitoes.
Unfortunately, the one positive takeaway was incorrect. Citronella does nothing to deter mosquitoes.
sebastiantombs
Known around here
Worth a quick read for the chuckle and showing Musk is right on target with Twatter -
www.newsweek.com
Half of Joe Biden's Twitter Followers Are Fake, Audit Reveals
Billionaire Elon Musk has claimed that 20 percent of Twitter users are "spam/fake accounts" amid his ongoing takeover bid.
www.newsweek.com
Gargoile
Getting comfortable
