Being a stubborn old coot and not wanting to give up I started fooling, yet again, with DeepStack. I think I got it working properly, finally. In the interest of saving someone, anyone, the same frustrations this is what I ended up doing.
The "confidence" level is set at a default of 50%. I have it down at 5%, one tenth the original setting. Now it's detecting 100% of the valid triggers during the day, at least for me. I also set the additional views to one s that it actually "looks" at two frames one second apart. With matching iframe and frame rates and because
Blue Iris starts recording on a full frame it gets two frames of full data to look at. Don't be afraid to lower that "confidence" setting to really low numbers is the bottom line.
This hasn't seemed to have cured the problem at night though. I just checked and it started missing clips about 20 minutes after sundown. It's still missing vehicles and it also missed a herd of deer that passed by one of the cameras. I think this is a contrast and scene lighting issue. In full daylight it works very well, at night in B&W not well at all. Given that it's a free app I think the daytime utility it has is more than worth the time and effort needed to set it up. I will continue playing with the "confidence" setting at night to see if I can get it to detect reliably.