Funny / Satire
- Thread starter Ssayer
- Start date
A young guy from Nebraska moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?"
"Yes," the young man replies, "I was a salesman back in Omaha."
The interview goes well and the man gets the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job is rough, but he gets through it. After the store is locked up, the boss comes down. "How many customers bought something from you today?" he asks.
"One," the man replies.
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid replies, "$101,237.65."
"$101,237.65?!" the boss repeats, flabbergasted. "What the heck did you sell?"
"Well, first, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
"A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" the boss asked.
The young man said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'
The manager asks, "Do you have any sales experience?"
"Yes," the young man replies, "I was a salesman back in Omaha."
The interview goes well and the man gets the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."
His first day on the job is rough, but he gets through it. After the store is locked up, the boss comes down. "How many customers bought something from you today?" he asks.
"One," the man replies.
The boss says, "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid replies, "$101,237.65."
"$101,237.65?!" the boss repeats, flabbergasted. "What the heck did you sell?"
"Well, first, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Boston Whaler. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
"A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?" the boss asked.
The young man said, "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing.'
Broachoski
Getting comfortable
Smilingreen
Known around here
Somebody is falling down on their job........that tail rotor is NOT spinning.....
A young newlywed couple wanted to join a church. The pastor told them, "We have special requirements for new parishioners. You must abstain from having sex for two weeks".
The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?"
"Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man admitted.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"This morning, my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"That's okay," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."
The couple agreed and came back at the end of two weeks. The pastor asked them, "Well, were you able to get through the two weeks without being intimate?"
"Pastor, I'm afraid we were not able to go without sex for the two weeks," the young man admitted.
"What happened?" inquired the pastor.
"This morning, my wife was reaching for a can of corn on the top shelf and dropped it. When she bent over to pick it up, I was overcome with lust and took advantage of her right there."
"You understand, of course, that this means you will not be welcome in our church," stated the pastor.
"That's okay," said the young man. "We're not welcome at the grocery store anymore either."
Bill Gates joked that Microsoft axed Internet Explorer because it 'ran out of microchips' vaccinating everyone
The Microsoft cofounder responded to a Daily Show tweet linking the conspiracy theory to this week's shutdown of the Internet Explorer browser.
mat200
IPCT Contributor
- Jan 17, 2017
- 15,124
- 25,562
sebastiantombs
Known around here
sebastiantombs
Known around here
