Funny / Satire

Here is a joke our grandson told us this weekend:

A child goes to his Mom and ask why she has gray hairs, the Mom said that every gray hair is when the child makes her sad so the child asked then what happened to grandma? lol
 
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David L said:
She is pretty good at it I don't see a drop spilled, if it were me I would be covered in gas...
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In CA in the 70's (I think it was) when they first came out with the "vapor recovery system" as mandated by CARB (CA's version of the EPA) they'd either click off from back-splash, suck your fuel back out or wouldn't click on to begin fueling.....anti-siphoning coils down in the neck were particularly troublesome. They finally got it fine-tuned after a long time and you could tank up although never quickly, it seemed. Holding the spout upside-down was one successful method.

At one point in that evolution of that "system that sucks' that woman's "direct pour" method seemed to work good although the director of CARB would have had a heart attack from all the vapors escaping into the air!
 
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TonyR said:
In CA in the 70's (I think it was) when they first came out with the "vapor recovery system" as mandated by CARB (CA's version of the EPA) they'd either click off from back-splash, suck your fuel back out or wouldn't click on to begin fueling.....anti-siphoning coils down in the neck were particularly troublesome. They finally got it fine-tuned after a long time and you could tank up although never quickly, it seemed. Holding the spout upside-down was one successful method.

At one point in that evolution of that "system that sucks' that woman's "direct pour" method seemed to work good although the director of CARB would have had a heart attack from all the vapors escaping into the air!
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Yeah here in Texas at most stations, filling up the way she is doing would not work, some older stations have springs on the spout where until compressed from sticking the spout in would allow you to pump. The new handles have something similar because if i pull out the spout too far it will stop pumping.

When we went on our trip to Oregon, I did not know you don't pump your own gas there. First gas stop, after not finding a way to pay at the pump I went in the store/station and paid, went out and started pumping, I got scolded by one of the attendants...
 
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David L said:
When we went on our trip to Oregon, I did not know you don't pump your own gas there.
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Ah, Oregon (and Washington).....both "California but with trees", IMO. :facepalm:
 
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First Use of Term "Politically Correct."

This is Priceless! Note reference to the "Main Stream Media"...72 years ago.

What is meant by the modern term referred to as "POLITICAL CORRECTNESS"...The definition is found in 4 telegrams at the Truman Library and Museum in Independence, Missouri.

The following are copies of four telegrams between President Harry Truman and General Douglas MacArthur on the day before the actual signing of the WWII Surrender Agreement in September 1945.
The contents of those four telegrams below are exactly as received at the end of the war - not a word has been added or deleted.

(1)Tokyo, Japan 0800-September 1, 1945
To: President Harry S Truman
From: General D A MacArthur
Tomorrow we meet with those yellow-bellied bastards and sign the Surrender Documents, any last minute instructions?

(2)Washington, DC 1300-September 1, 1945
To: D A MacArthur
From: H S Truman
Congratulations, job well done, but you must tone down your obvious dislike of the Japanese when discussing the terms of the surrender with the press, because some of your remarks are fundamentally not politically correct!

(3)Tokyo, Japan 1630-September 1, 1945
To: H S Truman
From: D A MacArthur and C H Nimitz
Wilco Sir, but both Chester and I are somewhat confused, exactly what does the term politically correct mean?

(4)Washington, DC 2120-September 1, 1945
To: D A MacArthur/C H Nimitz
From: H S Truman
Political Correctness is a doctrine, recently fostered by a delusional, illogical minority and promoted by a sick mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a piece of shit by the clean end!

Now, with special thanks to the Truman Museum and Harry himself, you and I finally have a full understanding of what 'POLITICAL CORRECTNESS' really means.
 
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How Do I Make.jpg



In your favorite glass put 4 to 6 fresh mint leaves, on top of that put 1 large scoop of sugar, with your muddler grind the sugar into the mint to make a fine paste. Add 2 oz of your favorite clear rum, vodka or tequila, but add it incrementally while continuing to grind the mint to be sure the mint is finely ground and the alcohol has a chance to act like a solvent to absorb more mint flavor. Same procedure add the juice of half a fresh lime, (a little fresh squeezed lemon is also pretty nice), then fill the glass with ice then top it off with Topo Chico. (Or other fizzy mineral water, in a pinch you can use 7up or sprite but its not as yummy.)

4-6 fresh mint leaves
1 tbsp sugar
2oz clear rum, (or tequila, or vodka)
Juice of half a lime (a little lemon is nice)
Ice
Topo Chico
 
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