First: You folks sound like a lot of gun-toting rednecks!
And I LIKE that!
Second, I agree that you need to get a lot of experience with various handguns in particular to figure out what fits you. While I respect the Glocks for being quite reliable in my and friends' experience, I also fall into the "grip angle just doesn't work for me" crowd.
Years ago, my son was hired to be a cop for a nearby town. They require all of their cops to carry a Glock model 22. We went to a local gun shop that catered to LE, and bought two G22s and also couldn't resist getting a couple of the RRA AR-15s that were basically overstock they had left over from outfitting the entire highway patrol for our state, so they were a good price.
Anyhow, my son really liked the Glock 22s, and qualified with the highest qualifying score that PD had ever had. I, on the other hand, have never gotten comfortable with that, or any Glock. Even after shooting it a LOT, I shot (for the first time ever) a friend's similar XD (also chambered in .40S&W) at the range one day, and immediately shot that pistol, on average, 3X better.
Grip angle means a lot for me.
I highly recommend trying a variety of handguns at a range where you can rent pistols. You never know what will fit you until you really take some time. And even after you own some pistols for a long time, try some new ones now and then. Some just work better with one person's body mechanics than others.
Don't expect to do "passive" research and then buy that perfect pistol right off. What works well for a lot of other folks may still not "fit" you. Only a lot of actual shooting will reveal what guns you end up preferring. But doing the "hands-on" research should be a lot of fun!
Hopefully shooting becomes something you really enjoy so you'll go shooting frequently. Shooting a lot, and in various situations is really the best way to become proficient.
Taking a CCW class is a good idea even if you dont plan on carrying. The legal advice can be a real eye opener, and this needs to be specific to your locale. Good CCW training will cover home defense. Ask about what will be taught. Often local ranges will offer a variety of training.
Hopefully you'll find shooting to be a fun hobby and get a lot more out of it than just home security. And hopefully you'll find a good group of competent shooters with whom to associate and shoot. That can be fun, rewarding, and educational.
I know a lot of people get their first gun for self or home defense reasons. And that's OK. But too many times, they think just buying a gun is all they will need to do.
Fortunately, in this area, there are a lot of shooters, and I think most people get a gun with the help of someone they know who is more familiar with shooting. And hopefully they end up with some instruction and a lot of range time as well as time outdoors in the countryside.
I am a huge advocate of hearing protection. Eye protection is also essential. What you see in movies and on TV where people have a shootout in a building or home, and you can hear the spent brass tinkling to the ground, always makes me laugh. That first shot, without hearing protection, especially indoors, and both of your ears will be ringing, and you won't be carrying on a normal conversation for a few days at the least!
And believe me, normal home furnishings and walls will not stop slugs from any of the usual firearms. So you can't hide from the bullets, only from the bad guy's vision. And more importantly, the walls in your house won't keep you or your loved ones, (or the neighbors) safe from errant gunfire.
I've read that the high velocity and small size of typical AR-15 bullets can make them less prone to overpenetration through drywall than most slower, heavier handgun rounds. The claim is that the bullets will self destruct upon impact with the first barrier they encounter.
But I can tell you from experience that normal "ball" AR ammo shoots clean holes right through 1/4" (mild) steel and the rounds remain on course with little or no observable deviation in trajectory, and impact forcefully at least 200 yards past the steel plate, on the next hill! (Shooting out in the country at various targets is quite interesting and informative).
But the main point is that when shooting in a typical house, office, or apartment, I'd be extremely conscious of the potential unintended targets far beyond what you can see.
Home walls and furnishings, despite what you see in movies or on TV, offer very little to no protection to people beyond your intended target.
But I always figure when that home invader sees you come around the corner wearing ear muffs and eye protection, he'll know things are about to get serious, so you probably won't need to fire a single shot. But on the other hand, you NEVER want to point a gun at anyone unless you are prepared to pull the trigger.
As for burglars being really good at defeating home security systems:
30 years ago or more, a friend's dad who was a cop made a comment to us that I believe still holds true. He said you're never going to stop "Al Mundy", but 99% of home burglaries are made by idiots. If someone is really talented and thoughtful, they usually have a real job.
But this probably varies from place to place.
Maybe 45 years ago, my aunt, uncle, and cousins' house was burglarized while they were out of town on vacation. The burglars brought a semi-tractor trailer rig and methodically removed EVERYTHING from their home. It took all day. The neighbors just assumed they were moving!
Apparently, this turned out to be a fairly common thing. They lived in a small town of less than 1000 people. Clearly this wasn't just some local thieves! They had a lot of nice stuff, too. I have to think these guys truly were pros. So who knows?